his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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