I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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