I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
