Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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