So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
