Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
