Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
