i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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