you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
