Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
