Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is Oprah even human
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
