is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
