You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
