hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
