Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
