I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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