matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
