eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
