Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
