Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
