You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
