I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
