A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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