It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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