Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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