That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
