Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
