come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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