there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
