I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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