Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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