before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
