I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
