May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
