it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
