"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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