so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
