dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
