clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
