You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
