But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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