Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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