Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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