she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
