A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
