btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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