She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
