she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
