Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
