dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
