i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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