Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
